Top 10 ways to tell if your boyfriend is gay

10. He knows exactly where he was and what he was wearing the night Barbra retook the stage in Vegas
9. He knows how to lisp in 7 different languages
8. His idea of a "perfect evening" includes pitchers of cosmos and the anniversary DVD of Will and Grace
7. His cock tastes like shit
6. He insists on going as Bette Midler/Cher/Judy Garland every year for Holloween and "if you don't like it, you
can kiss my smug little stink hole, bitch."
5. When he says "please," it require two syllables, a head swivel, and a finger snap
4. He wanted to name his dog Liza or Madonna but settled on Boy George Michael
3. He knows whether Rogers or Hammerstein wrote the music
2. He finds himself achieving at sports just so his teammates will slap his ass
1. He's attracted to men